Monday, July 27, 2009

Palin works so hard she finishes her gubernatorial term early, while Dobbs gets a free pass from CNN to be a ‘tard

By Ellipses

Alaska managed to pass its painful kidney stone known as “Sarah Palin” this weekend, and if past trends are indicative of future performance, she should be promptly flushed out into the wild blue yonder of sickening over-exposure in the run-up to the 2012 election. Taking her place is 46 year old Sean Parnell, who seems woefully underprepared to pilot the great state of Alaska. Consider these dismal stats:

Parnell has an elitists’ law degree in addition to his bachelors, but he only went to 2, count them two, colleges in order to obtain them. Clearly, he is in no position to fill the scholastic vacuum left by FSU Palin – “Five School Undergrad.”

Parnell worked as a state representative for Alaska, followed by a stint as state senator, before spending a spell with oil and gas lobbying firm Patton Boggs. Conspicuously absent from his resume is his duties as “Russia Watcher.” Is Alaska vulnerable? Is Parnell S.O.S. (Soft on Soviets)?

After losing a congressional race to Don Young by a margin of 304 votes, Parnell opted out of two opportunities. First, he declined to force a recount, saying that his chances of winning were too small to justify the expense. Then, he decided not to run against indicted senator Ted Stevens. A real Pitbull would have forced a recount while simultaneously running for the U.S. senate.

Clearly, Sean Parnell is no Sarah Palin.

In other “Fuck me with a pommel horse” news, Lou Dobbs apparently has the green light to put forth batshit-crazy allegations as it is “his editorial decision to make.”

Apparently, the Southern Poverty Law Center sends a letter to CNN saying “What the fuck, yo?” regarding Lou Dobbs’ utterance on his radio program that Obama has a “documentation problem” and then, like a typical racist white guy, suggests, without finishing the thought, that Obama is “undocumented,” which of course is intended to play on the general disdain that a certain segment of our population has for “furriners.”
(In case you missed it, “typical racist white guy” is intended to be ironic)

CNN president Jon Klein, in an interview with Greg Sargent, said that "We respect our viewers enough to present them the facts and let them make up their own minds," he said, adding that what Dobbs does is "his editorial decision to make."

Holy shitballs Batman! I wish I had that kind of leeway at work! Would it be wrong of me to put forth the fact that Lou Dobbs has not provided any documentation or other evidence to refute the allegation that he frequently dines on par-boiled puppies in a renown gay bar in Tijuana ?

Palin/Dobbs 2012! Sphere: Related Content


Cylinsier said...

I was going back and forth on whether or not I would blog anything about S. Pal. I decided against it because I figured you'd get to it eventually. Thanks for not disappointing me!

By the way, we really need to make some friends. This whole commenting on our blogs because no one else will thing is making me feel really sorry for myself.

Ellipses said...

:-) It takes some time... I registered our domain with google, but none of our traffic has been search engine traffic yet... on my old blog, about 25% of traffic would be from google searches if the topics were topical... it takes a bit of time for us to get indexed.

However, I am spending some of my time reading other blogs and leaving comments on them in an attempt to lure people over...

All good things to those who wait.
It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.

Cylinsier said...

I googled "elliptical press" in quotes and the top two hits were our most recent blogs. So that's a start.

Anonymous said...

(In case you missed it, “typical racist white guy” is intended to be ironic)
Are you explaining your self? That's almost an apology. Are you going soft on me?

Lori said...

I didn't mean to be anonymous in the last comment.

Ellipses said...

Damn, you have a point...

I guess I was slightly distracted by the chance (good chance) that someone might not "get it."

THAT... is an apology. Cracker-ass hunky blue eyed devil :-)

Little J said...

Hi Ellipses!

Glad you blogged about the Lou Dobbs birther comments. That guy seriously annoys me so much. I really do not understand why the whole birth certificate thing is still an issue. I'd like to think it's just the far-right fringe, but I know way too many people (most in SW PA) who believe it.

Ellipses said...

The absolute best argument... aside from the fact that the documentation has already been verified and there was a goddamn notice in the Honolulu newspaper... is the fact that Hilary Clinton never uttered word one about it.

Seriously, Hilary would eat Chelsea to get a leg up on the competition... you're saying that she kept a lid on the fact that the one person that stood between her and the throne is "furrin" because of... why? Exactly?

Aside from that, the announcement in the Honolulu Star (or herald or whatever) is pretty convincing, too... because, really... why? Can someone put forth a LOGICAL reason that a Kenyan would post a birth announcement in a Hawaiian newspaper? Hell, Kansas makes a LOT more sense.

And Lou Dobbs has his own fucking show... I need to make a sex tape... with Lou Dobbs.

Ellipses said...

PS- Little J... HELLO!

I missed you (again)... play with us (and bring your friends)

Cylinsier said...

Little J...long time no see! (this is abomb).

Little J said...

Hey Cylinsier (the artist formerly known as Abomb)! Dude, we're totally getting the OR Forum band back together.