Friday, July 24, 2009

Social Networking and Parenting


by Cylinsier

So I'm having a discussion with the wife and we get to talking about kids and what they should and shouldn't be allowed to do at home as opposed to in public. Specifically, we were talking about how we don't give a shit if they say shit like shit around us, but that we'll have to get them to understand that you have to temper your language out in the public sphere.

From there, the discussion expands into what they will and will not be doing out in public without us knowing. Which I recognize is not a problem unique to us but rather the ultimate question any parent worth their weight in aluminum in the history of ever has probably contemplated at some point. But it occurred to me that parents with kids from high school and down right now (and let's face it, once the kids go off to college, they aren't really under your control anymore anyway) may have a much easier time keeping tabs on their kids than any generation before.

Consider the times we live in. The concept of privacy is vastly different for the kids growing up right now than it has been ever before. We have at out fingertips sites like Facebook and Twitter, cell phones that call, text, and shoot video, Youtube available to use for free to anyone who has a video camera, and blogs to talk about whatever we want to whoever will listen. All this amounts to one thing: wherever you go, whatever you do, someone is always watching. And kids these days seem to want it that way.

Parents out there are probably thinking, "Must keep kids away from technology for as long as possible!" Certainly, you don't want seven year old Cindy out there with a MySpace page ripe for perusing by any anonymous pervert, and there are a lot. But when they get a little older, start learning about stuff in school that you don't want them to learn about, and start experiencing those raging hormones...maybe some of these sites aren't such a bad idea?

Consider the role models for our youth today. I'm going to reference one in particular and compare her to someone from our parents (or maybe grandparents) youth. Disney starlet Vanessa Hudgens versus Disney starlet Annette Funicello. Hudgens, as most of you are probably already aware, is the star of the massively popular teen film series "High School Musical." Around the time the second movie of the trilogy was popular, she had an experience which has become all to familiar to young female celebrities in her age group. She had naked pictures of her show up on the web. Disney's reaction was basically to forgive her and she went on to star in the third film and remain a major role model for kids. I wonder what would have happened if Annette had done the same thing? Of course the internet didn't exist back then, but I mean what if racy photos of her had shown up in tabloids? You think she would have stayed on Disney shows?

The point is that the internet has given us all the tools to be uninhibited for better or for worse, but this is a double edged sword. Teenagers like to be uninhibited anyway, but the change that has affected them the most is the seemingly lax attitude towards a lack of public inhibition. We now live in a world where a sex tape does not end your career, it makes it. See Paris Hilton. The bright side for parents is your teenagers were going to potentially make stupid choices anyway. That's what hormones make you do. But now you have tools at YOUR disposal to at least know when and what they did!

What I'm getting at is this: when your kid hits that age, maybe you should go out and get him or her a cell, or set up a Facebook page or let him or her Twitter...with the caveat that you get to friend them or follow them! Kids see Hudgens or Hilton showing their bodies to the entire world now; they may be surprisingly less apprehensive about letting their parents friend them than you think. And then, when your daughter posts her breasts on Johnny from down the street's blog...well, at least you'll know its time to buy her a box of condoms, right? Sphere: Related Content

8 comments:

Ellipses said...

My wife and I have been talking about some of the same things... and I am surprised at how RADICAL our concept of "reasonable" boundaries are to our families... well, her family, at least... because they are like Little House on the Prairie Jesus Freaks...

For example, Chaucer man will have a cell phone as soon as there is a reasonable requirement of phone-usage on his part... We are a cell-only household, and I really don't want him using my cell every time he needs to call his buddy to go to the pool.

And my views on technology is that resistance is futile... it's like trying to stop piracy on the web... every time you close one door, you open 8 more, more creative doors. I don't want to play a constant game of cat and mouse... quashing one set of usage behaviors only to have him utilize his genius and inventiveness to find a way around my rules, filters, or surveillance. Ok, so chicks are texting you pics of their va-jays... the only difference between that and old-school porn is that you might actually have a shot with that chick... here's some condoms, let me know if your mom and I need to take little slutty susie in for birth control pills in case her mom is all biblical about sex... If the internet de-mystifies sex for you, that's great... it's better than doing glory hole shots at the pickle park because dad can't check your history in "real life"...

I'm sure all this shit will change as he gets older... but I really can't see myself being the digital nazi in our house.

Cylinsier said...

Basically my view. Its like facing a flood. You have two options: try to stop and drown like a moron, or buy a boat and go with the flow. Yeah, going with the flow means a big change from where you were, but don't fool yourself into thinking the other option was ever going to work out for you.

Ellipses said...

An Irishman named murphy said "I'll stop that iron horse."

And he stood athwart it's passage and it crushed him dead, or course.

I hope he hears the irony, whene'er this tale is told.

Because the train that took his life was burning good kentucky coal!

Lauren Kelly said...

I personally didn't have a cell phone until I was 18, but times have changed drastically since then (and hell, it's only been nearly 8 years).

Nonetheless, we also do not have a landline at our house. Never have, never will, so it will be hard to be a 'nazi' about Connor having a cell-phone.



Good post, btw.

Cylinsier said...

Thanks again. I too am a "landlineless" phoner.

Ellipses said...

God I hope this gets passed around the Mommy Blog community :-)

Lori said...

Box of condoms and a trip to the clinic. I somehow survived the first round of child rearing. The challenge is going to be with the two youngest. They are way more exposed to everything. I'll have to use some of the tried and true. A) Bite my tongue until it bleeds when they say" Mom did you know you could make a lot of money selling drugs as long as you don't do them " (actual statement from child #2) And B)always allow them and their friends to hang at our house. (I always knew where my first three were. All night gaming and food. Worked like a charm.

Ellipses said...

That's a great idea, Lori... be the "cool" house so you know where they are...

I'm puttin' that in the bank, baby!