Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Are you smarter than your 5th grader? Probably not.

by Cylinsier

Tuesday’s school speech came and went and though it is still early, the socialist indoctrination hasn’t brought about widespread marches of grade school proletariat yet. Might be they are too busy getting a few more games of Halo in or grinding at the local skate park, so if we wake up tomorrow tied to our beds by our children as they topple the government, please accept my apologies ahead of time. However, I’m going to go out on a limb and predict that the conservative backlash to Obama’s speech, much like the conservative backlash to pretty much everything that has happened since January, was madly and embarrassingly overblown and that the Republicans have gone from the party of No to the party of No common sense.

The latest nauseatingly pretentious mantra of the increasingly unoriginal far right maniac movement is to claim that Obama’s speech, which was clearly and plainly harmless and has in fact been lauded by notable conservatives, was actually exactly the heavily subversive diatribe against all things good and holy until the conservatives, just and vigilant defenders of god's Amurrica that they are, acted in their all important role as last line of defense between their innocent, feeble minded children and the dark horned creature masquerading as our benevolent commander in chief. In other words, the neocons ran out of glue to sniff so they went and bought some good shit on the corner and they're really flying now.

You see, when you commit so heavily to something so stupid, its going to be pretty embarrassing when it comes back to bite you later. For example, being positive beyond a shadow of a doubt that the President's speech will involve a health care push or a socialist agenda makes you look like you wear tinfoil to bed. The only way to justify that belief is for it to be right...and when it isn't, like this time, you're left holding your dick with your pants around your ankles wondering where you went wrong. So you take a page from the neocon handbook and you misdirect by claiming that you were right but the socialists pulled the old switcheroo on you. That's right, commies, you can't fool a real Amurricun.

What's sad is that the fringe right is so practiced at covering their tracks and telling tall tales to justify their prejudice that they've actually convinced themselves that what they are saying is true. After all, the only people who could be gullible enough to believe this crap would have to be the same ones who believed we went to Iraq because of 9/11, torture works, and Dick Cheney cares about anyone other than himself. They certainly haven't convinced anyone else. Example: a survey from Kansas City, Missouri reveals that 63 percent of respondents believe its appropriate for Obama to speak to kids in school. 65 percent responded that its appropriate for any President to speak to kids in school, a respectable consistency to say the least. And this is a Republican state mind you. McCain won it in the election, albeit by a slim margin. When asked if it was appropriate to make a huge deal about holding their kids out from school because Obama was speaking, the number of respondents who said yes was greater than the number of teeth shared collectively among said respondents. At least probably.

Of course, not all post-speech feedback has been of the conspiracy theory variety. Massive tool and alleged rapist and murderer Glenn Beck (if you don't understand satire, don't bother to follow that link) has admitted on his radio show that he's cool with how everything went down.
Let's not idolize the president of the United States, but I don't really have a problem. As long as there's no indoctrination in there.
I don't know about you, comrades, but having Glenn's approval on this issue for dear leader is a huge load off my mind.

But we could go on and on, couldn't we? That's not the point. The point is this: GOP, time to stop keeping score. This isn't a game anymore. This isn't payback for whatever sick perceived slight you think the liberals gave your party for the last eight years, which by the way many of you agreed with us on when we said it was a pretty clear failure in the end. No, in the world of politics, once you start with the mud slinging, it begins to perpetuate itself. Pretty soon, we've lost track of who is starting the rumors and which ones had any truth in them to being with (none since January by my count). If you conservatives want to have any hope at all of being anything but the annoying voice in the back of the room that you are now, its time to grow up, stop trying to set the bar lower and lower, and act like responsible adults for a change. In this case, that means recognizing when you're making a fuss about something that isn't fuss-worthy and only serves to strengthen the opinion of the left, the middle, and the middle-right that the far right is a bunch of whiny bitches. Whiny bitches don't win seats in congress because they're too busy whining.

Consider what the younger generation thinks of those of you who overreacted so blatantly. They are your future. They are the ones who will take care of you. And when you realize that they think for themselves, don't be surprised that they don't agree with you. Ron Paul once said, "Setting a good example is a far better way to spread ideals than through force of arms." He was talking about military action, but the quote fits this situation well. Sphere: Related Content


Lori said...

Must have been subliminal messages inserted 'cuase the speech was boring and tired. Our kids here in WA State are gonna be just fine. They don't even start school until tomorrow, wonder why BHO left out the Pacific Northwest Kids when he scheduled the speech????

Ellipses said...

He has the Portland hippies and meth addicts in the bag... It's kinda like how republicans don't really have to campaign in Oklahoma :-)