Thursday, September 10, 2009


By Ellipses

During last night's address to a joint session of congress, President Obama delivered his plans for health care reform.

The "highlight" of the evening ended up being a douche in a congressman disguise who, for some reason, thought that he was at a town hall meeting or a in the audience of Springer ("You don't need him, girl!"). Congressman Joe Wilson of South Carolina acted a fool and exclaimed "You Lie!" when Obama said, explicitly, that illegal aliens would not be covered under a reform plan. Here's the video:

To his credit, Wilson apologized promptly when an apology was demanded by both Rahm Emanuel and John McCain.

Beyond the theatrics and the "Oh no he didn't" reaction that is natural when someone dons the cocksuit in arguably the most important and respected forum on earth is the lingering question of... "Why not?"

Why, if it is so expensive to transfer the cost of the 30 or so million uninsured to those who are insured, is it acceptable to transfer the cost of 12-15 million people to the rest of us based simply on an arbitrary set of circumstances such as where you were born and which papers you filed or didn't file before getting to the place where you ultimately got sick?

Of all the things said during the president's address, why is it that THIS point was enough to get the best of a congressman? In the last month, we had heard that the public option would lead to eugenics and euthanasia. We heard that abortions would basically be required of people, whether you had ovaries or not. We heard that breast cancer wouldn't be treated, you'd have to wait 6 months for treatment if you had a heart attack, your taxes would increase exponentially, Nazi's would take your guns, czars would remove your gall bladder, bureaucrats would make a man-sandwich out of you and your doctor (guess who's the meat), and we'd be turning old people into Soylent Green.

Yet, the issue that gets Joe Wilson to "holla back y'all" is the prospect... no, not even the prospect, but the flat out denial that "Home Depot people" would be *gasp! covered under a comprehensive insurance program. Let's put that a different way... rather than disagree with a proposal of the president, Joe Wilson is moved to yell "You Lie!" when the president SPECIFICALLY SAYS "FUCK THE MEXICANS."

During the speech, I was disappointed that the president specifically singled out a vital, though illegal, segment of our society to withhold cake from. However, in light of Mr. Wilson's reaction and upon further reflection, I have to hold out hope that the willingness to explicitly deny coverage to illegal aliens underlies an understanding that perhaps a blanket amnesty program is in the works that would make the issue null and void. Once they are no longer illegal, they are covered. I don't know which part excites me more... the humanitarian aspect of protecting those who mow our lawns, care for our kids, harvest our crops, and clean our buildings... or the fact that the prospect of this would literally cause people like Joe Wilson to eat their own heads.

Other highlights of the speech:
1. The public option wasn't guaranteed, but it had strong enough support to suggest that it WILL be part of the final plan.

2. Obama told Palin to choke on a Caribou Cock

3. Mason Verger... I mean, Mitch McConnel kept his sexy-ass turkey gobbler from jiggling

4. The republicans who looked like they were being forced to smell Borat's taint for an hour did more for the speech than the excellent oration itself.

5. Those same taint-sniffers all jumped up and furiously jerked off when an EXTREMELY TEPID AND RELUCTANT MENTION OF TORT REFORM WAS MADE. I guess arbitrary caps on profits are A-okel-dokel when it's on the trial lawyer industry...

Here's the full thingamabobber:

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Cylinsier said...

When Wilson yelled, "you lie," Nancy looked like she was about to go kick someone's ass.

Ellipses said...

Where's the "doing 'x' random and inconsequential thing makes us look weak and that emboldens our enemies" crowd?

I don't recall people yelling "You Lie" at Clinton or Bush when they were ACTUALLY SAYING THINGS THAT WEREN'T TRUE...

Jeezy Chreezy Cyleezy, what the dillio?

Gertrude said...

Just for the record, I am 100% for including undocumented people in any reform. It makes good moral sense and good financial sense: Giving these people access to doctors and medications would keep them from using the ER and 911 unnecessarily. And it would address problems while they are small and don’t require extensive medical care. This saves us money because, as you know, we pay their ER bills.

Ellipses said...

Yeah, I don't have a problem with it, either...

Aren't we just a big old happy clusterfuck?