Monday, September 7, 2009

Retard Right Response to Obama's School Speech

By Ellipses


"The President: Hello everyone – how’s everybody doing today? I’m here with students at Wakefield High School in Arlington, Virginia. And we’ve got students tuning in from all across America, kindergarten through twelfth grade. I’m glad you all could join us today."

Everyone? Doesn't he REALLY mean "impressionable young minds apt to absorb my socialist-liberal ideas and join my neo-progressive Americorp ACORN army?"

You're glad the kids could join you today? They are kids in SCHOOL for Christ's sake! They are prisoners to your wacko agenda!

"I know that for many of you, today is the first day of school. And for those of you in kindergarten, or starting middle or high school, it’s your first day in a new school, so it’s understandable if you’re a little nervous. I imagine there are some seniors out there who are feeling pretty good right now, with just one more year to go. And no matter what grade you’re in, some of you are probably wishing it were still summer, and you could’ve stayed in bed just a little longer this morning."

If they knew what was good for them, they WOULD have stayed in bed this morning. This speech is making me throw up with every additional elitist liberal word. God I just want to kill myself.

"I know that feeling."

No you don't. They have K-12 in a single hut in Mombassa.

"When I was young, my family lived in Indonesia for a few years, and my mother didn’t have the money to send me where all the American kids went to school."

See? We told yinz he was furrin! Indonesia my ass! Yeah, you couldn't go to the schools that Americans went to because you WEREN'T IN AMERICA! So you went to a commie muslim atheist school where they taught you how to do abortions.

"So she decided to teach me extra lessons herself, Monday through Friday – at 4:30 in the morning."

So you want to force MY kids to get up at the ass-crack of dawn? No thank you Mr. "President." I will be instructing MY kids to sleep until 10am from now on. Ha! That'll show ya!

"Now I wasn’t too happy about getting up that early. A lot of times, I’d fall asleep right there at the kitchen table. But whenever I’d complain, my mother would just give me one of those looks and say, "This is no picnic for me either, buster.""

Lazy commie bastard.

"So I know some of you are still adjusting to being back at school. But I’m here today because I have something important to discuss with you. I’m here because I want to talk with you about your education and what’s expected of all of you in this new school year."

Here we go... please tell, President Hussein, what YOU expect of MY kids.

"Now I’ve given a lot of speeches about education. And I’ve talked a lot about responsibility."

You've given a lot of speeches, but half the time I don't understand them because I'm red-faced and flatulent with anger... that and all the three-plus syllable words.

"I’ve talked about your teachers’ responsibility for inspiring you, and pushing you to learn."

"Pushing" = "coercion"

"I’ve talked about your parents’ responsibility for making sure you stay on track, and get your homework done, and don’t spend every waking hour in front of the TV or with that Xbox."

Yep, my kids will now be REQUIRED to put in at least 8 full hours of TV and Xbox time from now on.

"I’ve talked a lot about your government’s responsibility for setting high standards, supporting teachers and principals, and turning around schools that aren’t working where students aren’t getting the opportunities they deserve."

Since when is the GOVERNMENT responsible for schools? The government needs to keep out of my Social Security, my Medicare, and my public schools!

"But at the end of the day, we can have the most dedicated teachers, the most supportive parents, and the best schools in the world – and none of it will matter unless all of you fulfill your responsibilities. Unless you show up to those schools; pay attention to those teachers; listen to your parents, grandparents and other adults; and put in the hard work it takes to succeed."

Who are these "other adults" he wants MY kids to listen to? From now on, MY kids will listen to NO other adults!

"And that’s what I want to focus on today: the responsibility each of you has for your education. I want to start with the responsibility you have to yourself."

Responsibility you have to yourself? What the hell kind of commie fruit cake shit is that?

"Every single one of you has something you’re good at. Every single one of you has something to offer. And you have a responsibility to yourself to discover what that is. That’s the opportunity an education can provide."

What a faggy idea... "discover" what you're good at. Hell, in my day, we schlept off to the mill at age 14 and pressed bumpers for 50 years and were thankful to do it!

"Maybe you could be a good writer – maybe even good enough to write a book or articles in a newspaper..."

Yeah, a liberal, left-wing, main stream media, agenda-driven newspaper...

"– but you might not know it until you write a paper for your English class"

Where they teach you how to be gay.

"Maybe you could be an innovator or an inventor – maybe even good enough to come up with the next iPhone or a new medicine or vaccine"

Or maybe a quick and quiet death panel injection for old people?

"but you might not know it until you do a project for your science class."

Science class? Don't you mean EVOLUTION class?

"Maybe you could be a mayor or a Senator or a Supreme Court Justice,"

Not unless you are a Mexican Liberal Bitch Woman who hates white people...

"but you might not know that until you join student government or the debate team."

Which sums up Mr. Junior Senator with no experience's "experience" prior to stealing the election...

"And no matter what you want to do with your life – I guarantee that you’ll need an education to do it. You want to be a doctor, or a teacher, or a police officer? You want to be a nurse or an architect, a lawyer or a member of our military? You’re going to need a good education for every single one of those careers. You can’t drop out of school and just drop into a good job. You’ve got to work for it and train for it and learn for it."

And what other kind of "training" are they going to get? Are they going to be trained how to hate Jesus and organize communities? Huh?

"And this isn’t just important for your own life and your own future. What you make of your education will decide nothing less than the future of this country. What you’re learning in school today will determine whether we as a nation can meet our greatest challenges in the future."

Our "greatest challenge" exists in the present... and is the one speaking right now.

"You’ll need the knowledge and problem-solving skills you learn in science and math to cure diseases like cancer and AIDS,"

There's the gay agenda...

"and to develop new energy technologies and protect our environment. "

And there's the tree-huggers..

"You’ll need the insights and critical thinking skills you gain in history and social studies to fight poverty and homelessness"

You need a job in a mill to fight poverty and homelessness...

"crime and discrimination, and make our nation more fair and more free."

Race-baiter...

"You’ll need the creativity and ingenuity you develop in all your classes to build new companies that will create new jobs and boost our economy."

New jobs? I thought YOU and your stimulus package were supposed to do that for us?? I ain't workin' for NOTHING.

"We need every single one of you to develop your talents, skills and intellect so you can help solve our most difficult problems. If you don’t do that – if you quit on school – you’re not just quitting on yourself, you’re quitting on your country."

My kids are quitting school TOMORROW!

"Now I know it’s not always easy to do well in school. I know a lot of you have challenges in your lives right now that can make it hard to focus on your schoolwork."

Challenges? Like having the risen Jesus as a president?

"I get it."

No you don't.

"I know what that’s like."

Nope.

"My father left my family when I was two years old, and I was raised by a single mother who struggled at times to pay the bills and wasn’t always able to give us things the other kids had."

Like an American birth certificate?

"There were times when I missed having a father in my life. There were times when I was lonely and felt like I didn’t fit in. "

Because you are a furrin' Muslim?

"So I wasn’t always as focused as I should have been. I did some things I’m not proud of, and got in more trouble than I should have. And my life could have easily taken a turn for the worse."

Instead, all of our regular, white, Christian, American lives took a turn for the worse?

"But I was fortunate. I got a lot of second chances and had the opportunity to go to college, and law school, and follow my dreams. My wife, our First Lady Michelle Obama, has a similar story. Neither of her parents had gone to college, and they didn’t have much. But they worked hard, and she worked hard, so that she could go to the best schools in this country."

Yeah, right... hard work and knowing George Soros and Bill Ayers!

"Some of you might not have those advantages. Maybe you don’t have adults in your life who give you the support that you need. Maybe someone in your family has lost their job, and there’s not enough money to go around. Maybe you live in a neighborhood where you don’t feel safe, or have friends who are pressuring you to do things you know aren’t right."

Now he's pushing the single-mother, unemployment, welfare, ghetto, thuglife agenda. Give me a break!

"But at the end of the day, the circumstances of your life – what you look like, where you come from, how much money you have, what you’ve got going on at home – that’s no excuse for neglecting your homework or having a bad attitude. That’s no excuse for talking back to your teacher, or cutting class, or dropping out of school. That’s no excuse for not trying."

See? He's telling kids to blindly follow and not to question authority.

"Where you are right now doesn’t have to determine where you’ll end up. No one’s written your destiny for you. Here in America, you write your own destiny. You make your own future."

Yeah, maybe in Muslimia... here in Christendom, GOD writes our destiny.

"That’s what young people like you are doing every day, all across America."

South America?

"Young people like Jazmin Perez, from Roma, Texas. Jazmin didn’t speak English when she first started school. Hardly anyone in her hometown went to college, and neither of her parents had gone either. But she worked hard, earned good grades, got a scholarship to Brown University, and is now in graduate school, studying public health, on her way to being Dr. Jazmin Perez."

Jasmin Perez? Sounds Mexican... DOCTOR?! There's ANOTHER good job going to some furriner.

"I’m thinking about Andoni Schultz, from Los Altos, California, who’s fought brain cancer since he was three. He’s endured all sorts of treatments and surgeries, one of which affected his memory, so it took him much longer – hundreds of extra hours – to do his schoolwork. But he never fell behind, and he’s headed to college this fall."

Hundreds of extra hours? Can someone tell this clown there are only 24 hours in a day?

"And then there’s Shantell Steve, from my hometown of Chicago, Illinois. Even when bouncing from foster home to foster home in the toughest neighborhoods, she managed to get a job at a local health center; start a program to keep young people out of gangs; and she’s on track to graduate high school with honors and go on to college."

Can we get an American name in these examples?

"Jazmin, Andoni and Shantell aren’t any different from any of you. They faced challenges in their lives just like you do. But they refused to give up. They chose to take responsibility for their education and set goals for themselves. And I expect all of you to do the same."

Yeah, they aren't any different from us... don't we all know a half-dozen Jazmins, Andonis, and Shantells?

"That’s why today, I’m calling on each of you to set your own goals for your education "

How very new-aged...

"and to do everything you can to meet them."

Beg, borrow, steal?

"Your goal can be something as simple as doing all your homework, paying attention in class, or spending time each day reading a book. Maybe you’ll decide to get involved in an extracurricular activity, or volunteer in your community. Maybe you’ll decide to stand up for kids who are being teased or bullied because of who they are or how they look, because you believe, like I do, that all kids deserve a safe environment to study and learn. Maybe you’ll decide to take better care of yourself so you can be more ready to learn. And along those lines, I hope you’ll all wash your hands a lot, and stay home from school when you don’t feel well, so we can keep people from getting the flu this fall and winter."

Yeah, better not get sick under SOCIALIST MEDICINE!

"Whatever you resolve to do, I want you to commit to it. I want you to really work at it. "

This crazy talk is going to get YOU committed.

"I know that sometimes, you get the sense from TV that you can be rich and successful without any hard work -- that your ticket to success is through rapping or basketball or being a reality TV star, when chances are, you’re not going to be any of those things."

That's it! MY kid is going to be a rapping, basketball playing reality star! Take that Orack Barama.

"But the truth is, being successful is hard. You won’t love every subject you study. You won’t click with every teacher. Not every homework assignment will seem completely relevant to your life right this minute. And you won’t necessarily succeed at everything the first time you try."

Like health care, Mr. Failure?

"That’s OK."

The hell it is... first time, every time... that's MY motto.

"Some of the most successful people in the world are the ones who’ve had the most failures. JK Rowling’s first Harry Potter book was rejected twelve times before it was finally published. Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team, and he lost hundreds of games and missed thousands of shots during his career. But he once said, "I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.""

JK Rowling? Isn't she furrin? Michael Jordan? Isn't he black?

"These people succeeded because they understand that you can’t let your failures define you – you have to let them teach you. You have to let them show you what to do differently next time. If you get in trouble, that doesn’t mean you’re a troublemaker, it means you need to try harder to behave. If you get a bad grade, that doesn’t mean you’re stupid, it just means you need to spend more time studying."

These people succeeded because of affirmative action.

"No one’s born being good at things, you become good at things through hard work. You’re not a varsity athlete the first time you play a new sport. You don’t hit every note the first time you sing a song. You’ve got to practice. It’s the same with your schoolwork. You might have to do a math problem a few times before you get it right, or read something a few times before you understand it, or do a few drafts of a paper before it’s good enough to hand in."

Sounds like you are asking an awful lot of our children President Mao... Why can't kids be kids?

"Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. I do that every day. Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of strength. It shows you have the courage to admit when you don’t know something, and to learn something new. So find an adult you trust – a parent, grandparent or teacher; a coach or counselor – and ask them to help you stay on track to meet your goals."

Find ANY adult... except for the commie liberal furrin president...

"And even when you’re struggling, even when you’re discouraged, and you feel like other people have given up on you – don’t ever give up on yourself. Because when you give up on yourself, you give up on your country."

Oh please, Mr. Drama Queen

"The story of America isn’t about people who quit when things got tough. It’s about people who kept going, who tried harder, who loved their country too much to do anything less than their best."

I'm not playing your game, sir... My kids will quit EVERYTHING first thing tomorrow!

"It’s the story of students who sat where you sit 250 years ago, and went on to wage a revolution and found this nation. Students who sat where you sit 75 years ago who overcame a Depression and won a world war; who fought for civil rights and put a man on the moon. Students who sat where you sit 20 years ago who founded Google, Twitter and Facebook and changed the way we communicate with each other."

He's calling for a revolution! He wants our children to overthrow our government and install a socialist muslim caliphate!

Google? Co-founded by SERGEY BRINN? Sounds furrin... Twitter? Don't they use twitter in IRAN? Facebook??? Isn't that for the gays?

"So today, I want to ask you, what’s your contribution going to be? What problems are you going to solve? What discoveries will you make? What will a president who comes here in twenty or fifty or one hundred years say about what all of you did for this country?"

Yes, what are your contributions to the demise of our great nation going to be? How can YOU help president messiah? We all know he doesn't even want us to be here in 20 or 50 years... he wants us all to die in the next 3 and a half years.

"Your families, your teachers, and I are doing everything we can to make sure you have the education you need to answer these questions. I’m working hard to fix up your classrooms and get you the books, equipment and computers you need to learn. But you’ve got to do your part too. So I expect you to get serious this year. I expect you to put your best effort into everything you do. I expect great things from each of you. So don’t let us down – don’t let your family or your country or yourself down. Make us all proud. I know you can do it."

So, if Obama fails and the country goes to shit, he now can blame it on kids... Classy.

"Thank you, God bless you, and God bless America."

Don't you mean "Alleju Ahkbar?"




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4 comments:

Ondinita said...

Hilarious!!!! Sounds just like Phonyfeminazi!!! Lol

Cylinsier said...

...its funny because its true...

Lori said...

Thanks
I love your take on things. Really puts some things into perspective. We need to beware of pretty words the President uses to indoctrinate the public.I didn't agree with everything you said, because I am old and to the right, but I still value your opinions because you are not left or right. Keep up the good work

scott said...

Priceless! LOL